This is the story of a boy who fell in love

And Got Over It.

The Difference

Hi, 

You know how stereotypes work? Where you’ll be there and someone points something “you people do” and you’re amused at the fact that you actually do such thing. Well in my readings I came across an article by Dave Zinczenko about how a break up is taken by men as opposed to women and I’ll admit it was spot on. 

When the news hit us that a break up is in process, our walls go up and are impenetrable. We ourselves don’t recognize it hurts and we’ll smile, say ” fuck you” and head out to get some drinks. But that’s just the initial reaction. Shortly after our walls cave in and we’re trapped under the rubble and stones made up of anger, frustration, heartache and such.  And it comes down hard. 

Women accept the ending easier, because they deal with their emotions as they’re coming. Usually being the one’s crying as the break up is happening or shortly after.

Women also have a larger group of friends in most cases and are constantly talking about it. Men don’t go talking about things to everyone that asks (commonly) So we bottle it up making it worse for ourselves. So when the day comes where we open up, it pours hard. Alcohol becomes our worst enemy if we’re holding these things in. 

There’s something special about this gif

There’s something special about this gif

#health #fitness #relationships #advice (Taken with Instagram)

#health #fitness #relationships #advice (Taken with Instagram)

A closet of a different kind

misshapenskies:

I wear, she declared
A crown of leaves and thorns
And clay.

I wear the sudden dawn of autumn
and the dew on the blackberries 
that you tumble into your crumble.

I wore the words you cracked 
and spilt upon my lips. 
Darling, we live in the yolk. 

I wear the blue moon and
the eclipse which reminds 
me of the wonders of the world.

Despite everything, 
I wear beauty. 

 

(Source: chalkclouds)

Recognizing when to let go

We tend to look for people to tell us that our relationships are good or they’re bad, or just love to hear how people see your relationship. We ignore that we’re a part of the relationship and have our inner voice, always warning us and advising us on everything. After a break up we have that moment when we say or think, ” I knew shit went bad when he/she…” We always pick up on things that we dismissed at one point. 

Know that dragging it out will only hurt more than being forward. 

Obviously somethings can and should be fixed, but you’re capable of recognizing the difference. I think you should always speak your mind, specially when you begin to have doubts. Doubts are like rust that will eat at you until they turn into assumptions and things can go downhill from there causing a lot of tension and stress along the way. 

Thoughts?

Anonymous asked: Okay so my boyfriend cheated on me last night. We've been together for a year and a half and he always tells me how much he loves me and he always talks about marriage to me, but then he does this. I just don't understand. Why?

Words are fragile. What that means is that I can make you a promise that’d mean the world to you, yet nothing to me. People tend to say the things others want to hear because it makes their lives easier. Ask him why he did it. And after he answers, ask him again. Nobody accidentally cheats. He did it willingly. It’s not fair to you. See how well he’s treated you over this past year and a half and really think if it’s something you guys can work out. But remember the saying: ” Once a cheater, always a cheater.” It’s true. But it doesn’t mean if he cheated on someone else, then he’ll surely cheat on you. It means if he’s cheated on you once, given the chance in the future, he’ll do it again. 

UPDATE: 09/06/2012

"His only excuse was “I was high”. That’s just not a good enough answer for me. Is he lying? Or does he just not want to deal with me? Am I wrong for wanting to make things work? I just love him so much. It would be so hard to let him go.

It’s just that he’s my first love and I want him to be my last”

If all it took was getting high for him to cheat on you, what does that tell you? He’s not giving you the value you deserve and just wants you to drop it. You’re completely wrong for wanting to make things work because there is no effort in his part. You can try to hold on to him but you have to understand that more than likely it’ll happen again. 

It’ll hurt you more in the long run, than it will if you cut them out now. 

Reinvent Yourself

We’re living organisms right? (I’m hoping you agree)

Well think of this: the change in seasons, moon cycles, caterpillars to butterflies,  and so on and so on…

Everything changes. So why shouldn’t we? 

here’s a little experiment. 

http://herbarium.desu.edu/pfk/page11/page12/page13/page13.html

When I was a kid we did this in elementary and it was a simple experiment.  But I realize know that it is much more than that. Without light, a plant can’t survive, and when you place the obstacles, like shutting out the light and building walls… the plant finds a way around it. To allow itself to live. We need to do the same. People aren’t going to give you your way all the time and times are going to get tough more than once, but we have to adapt and change if we must. 

Stay grounded, and if you do fall, don’t stay on the ground too long. 

Okay so I’ve been with my boyfriend Matt (21) for about ten months. (I’m 20) For the first few months we were inseparable and he was really affectionate and spoke to me sweetly. We took showers together and we became really close, we lived together while we were both at school, and he lived alone when I met him.

After the honeymoon phase had naturally calmed down, we still retained this closeness but it became evident that we were spending a bit too much time together. I had stopped seeing friends and devoted most of my time to him by my own choice. I became really lost in our relationship. We decided that we should keep a good balance, and I started staying with my family more often. We were less caught up in each other and began to remember our own lives.

He moved in with a friend, and things were awesome at first, but he really started to distance himself from me. He gradually became less affectionate and more cold and unenthusiastic. He stopped telling me that he loved me, and now laughs at the idea of love. He’s a happy guy with a good life, he doesn’t have a problem with depression or anything like that. I think he’s caught up in being alpha. I became submissive and emotional.

I know now by his behaviour that Matt thinks emotional attachment only holds you back and causes weakness, but his coldness only makes me long to be loved again, yet I don’t want to be weak. I feel as though i’m living proof of his thoughts on emotional attachment. This is psychological torture. I’d just like your views on this please.”

My Advice: 

At 10 months everything should still be great, there’s no reason why these roles need to be taken. If you’re already breaking down about the behavior he’s showing, you need to speak up about it. If he’s “laughing at the idea of love” now, then that should tell you that things are probably not getting better. Talk about it, find a balance and if one can’t be found, try accepting that the few months of bliss were nothing more than that. 

Just a Thought

As a guy, there will always be women in our lives that we’re attracted to. That’s just the nature of things no matter how much you love the person you’re with. So how should this be handled when we’re seeing someone? By doing nothing. We’re not forced to act on our attractions and it’d be wrong to do so. To my last girlfriend: I’m sorry if you felt you weren’t good enough because I found celebrities attractive enough to have as a wallpaper on my phone. To my next girlfriend (if ever): I swear I’ll never risk losing something grand to something born of lust. 

Advice

"I don’t even know you and you’ve given better advice than friends that have known me for years. thank you."

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hi

Hello :)

Anonymous asked: So what's you're advice on trying to get someone out of your head? I try to just do my own thing and keep myself busy, but I still break down sometimes and just feel miserable. I don't want to think about this person all the time, I just find them in everything.

It’s never easy, if it’d be easy that’d mean that you didn’t really care much to begin with. The best way is to accept that somethings have no solution, and people change. So who ever it is that you’re missing, might not be the same person.

So take your time with your sadness, and cry it out, the worst you can do is hold in the tears. Talking helps for some, not in my case. And work with what you’ve got, live life for yourself, build goals and follow up. 

What happened in your situation?

A Moment of Vulnerability

So last night I was watching Zombieland which I hadn’t seen in over a year easily. And I had my guard down. I’ll come clean and admit that although I’m what seems to be permanently emotionally damaged. Although I don’t intend to relapse into anything, or even think of what’s lost for the most part… I still avoid certain things, and certain places make my heart speed. I won’t watch any films with Liv Tyler, Anne Hathaway or Amanda Seyfried for that matter. Well during the film Emma stone comes out and it hit me, for a few minutes but still. The similarities were too many, style, look, and facial expression. 

                                             

And it’s not obsessive, I don’t think about getting back together, or winning her over, or waiting. I don’t think about her often or look for her, that’s why my posting here has slowed down. This was meant to be the place where I dropped off  anything relating to her. I still feel this sucker punch to the gut whenever I think about being in a relationship or having any kind of companionship. I don’t casual date, I don’t have friends with benefits, I don’t have any “work in progress” relationships either.

It’s just me against the world.

I can’t  

Wish that I was kissing those blood red lips.